Who
practices polygamy?
Polygamy has been practiced by mankind for
thousands of years. Many of the ancient Israelites were polygamous, some having
hundreds of wives. King Solomon (peace be upon him) is said to have had seven
hundred wives and three hundred concubines. David (Dawood) had ninety nine and
Jacob (Yakub, peace be upon them both) had four. Advice given by some Jewish
wise men state that no man should marry more than four wives. No early society
put any restrictions on the number of wives or put any conditions about how they
were to be treated. Jesus was not known to have spoken against polygamy. As
recent as the 17th century, polygamy was practiced and accepted by
the Christian Church. The Mormons (Church of Jesus Christ of The Latter Day
Saints) has allowed and practiced polygamy in the United States.
Monogamy was introduced into Christianity at
the time of Paul when many revisions took place in Christianity. This was done
in order for the church to conform to the Greco-Roman culture where men were
monogamous but owned many slaves who were free for them to use: in other words,
unrestricted polygamy.
Early Christians invented ideas that women
were “full of sin” and man was better off to “never marry.” Since this would be
the end of mankind these same people compromised and said “marry only one.”
In the American society many times when
relations are strained, the husbands simply deserts his wife. Then he cohabits
with a prostitute or other immortal woman without marriage. Actually there are
three kinds of polygamy practiced in Western societies:
1.
Serial polygamy, that is,
marriage, divorce, marriage, divorce and so on any number
of times;
2.
A man married to one woman
but having and supporting one or more mistresses;
3.
An unmarried man having a
number of mistresses.
Islam condones but discourages the first and
forbids the other two.
Wars cause the number of women to greatly
exceed the number of men. In a monogamous society these women, left without
husbands or support, resort to prostitution, illicit relationships with married
men resulting in illegitimate children with no responsibility on the part of
the father, or lonely spinsterhood or widowhood.
Some Western men take the position that
monogamy protects the rights of women. But are these men really concerned about
the rights of women? The society has so many practices which exploit and
suppress women, leading to women’s liberation movements from the suffragettes
of the early twentieth century to the feminists of today.
The truth of the matter is that monogamy
protects men, allowing them to “play around” without responsibility. Easy birth
control and legal abortion has opened the door of illicit sex to women and she
has been lured into the so-called sexual revolution. But she is still the one
who suffers the trauma of abortion and the side effects of the birth control
methods. Taking aside the plagues of venereal disease, herpes and AIDS, the
male continues to enjoy himself free of worry. Men are the ones protected by
monogamy, while women continue to be victims of men’s desires. Polygamy is very
much opposed by the male dominated society because it would force men to face
up to responsibility and fidelity. It would force them to take responsibility
for their polygamous inclinations and would protect and provide for women and children.
Among all the polygamous societies in history
there were none which limited the number of wives. All of the relationships
were unrestricted. In Islam, the regulations concerning polygamy limit the
number of wives a man can have while making him responsible for all of the
women involved.
“Marry women of your choice, two or three
or four; but if you fear that you shall not be able to deal justly with them,
then only one or one that your right hands possess. That will be more suitable,
to prevent you from doing injustice.” (Qur’an
4:3)
This verse from the Qur’an allows a man to
marry more than one woman but only if he can deal justly with them. Another
verse says that a person is unable to deal justly between wives, thus giving
permission but discouraging.
“You will never be able to deal justly
between wives however much you desire (to do so). But ( if you have more than
one wife) do not turn altogether away (from one), leaving her as in suspense…” (Qur’an 4:129)
While the provision for polygamy makes the
social system flexible enough to deal with all kinds of conditions, it is not
necessarily recommend or preferred by Islam. Taking the example of the Prophet
Muhammad (peace be upon him) is instructive. He was married to one woman,
Khadijah, for twenty-five years. It was only after her death when he reached
the age of fifty that he entered into other marriages to promote friendships,
create alliances, or to be an example of some lesson to the community; also to
show the Muslims how to treat their spouses under different conditions of life.
The Prophet (peace be upon him) was given
inspiration from Allah about how to deal with multiple marriages and the
difficulties encountered therein. It is not an easy matter for a man to handle
two wives, two families, and two households and still be just between the two.
No man of reasonable intelligence would enter into this situation without a
great deal of thought and very compelling reasons (other than sexual).
Some people have said that the first wife
must agree to the second marriage. Others have said that the couple can put it
into the marriage contract that the man will not marry a second wife. First of
all, neither the Qur'an nor Hadith state that the first wife need to be
consulted at all concerning a second marriage let alone gain her approval.
Consideration and compassion on the part of the man for his first wife should
prompt him to discuss the matter with her but he is not required to do so or to
gain her approval. Secondly, the Qur’an has explicitly given permission for a
man to marry “two to three or four.” No one has the authority to make a
contract forbidding something that has been granted by Allah.
The bottom line in the marriage relationship
is good morality and happiness, creating a just and cohesive society where the
needs of men and women are well taken care of. The present Western society,
which permits free sex between consenting adults, has given rise to an
abundance of irresponsible sexual relationships, an abundance of “fatherless”
children, many unmarried teenage mothers; all becoming a burden on the welfare
system. In part, such an undesirable welfare burden has given rise to bloated
budget deficits which even an economically powerful country like the United
States.
In short, we find that artificially created
monogamy has become a factor in ruining the family structure, and the social,
economic and political systems of the country.
It must be a prophet, and indeed it was
Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) who directed Muslims to get married or
observe patience until one gets married. ‘Abdullah b. Mas’ud reported Allah’s
messenger as saying, “Young man, those of you who can support a wife should
marry, for it keeps you from looking at strange women and preserves you from
immorality; but those who cannot should devote themselves to fasting, for it is
a means of suppressing sexual desire.” (Bukhari and Muslim)
Islam wants people to be married and to
develop a good family structure. Also Islam realizes that requirements of the
society and the individual in special circumstances where polygamy can be the
solution to problems. Therefore Islam has allowed polygamy, limiting the number
of wives to four, but does not require or even recommend polygamy
In the Muslim societies of our times,
polygamy is not frequently practiced despite legal permission in many
countries. It appears that the American male is very polygamous, getting away
with not taking responsibility for the families he should be responsible for.
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